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Profile
NAME: 大路痴
You only Live Once, so LIVE to dare, DARE to try, TRY to succeed, SUCCEED to fail, FAIL to learn, LEARN to live
VIEW MY COMPLETE PROFILE
Wishlist
* A Tablet
* Iphone 4
* Coach or Gucci bag/pouch/wallet
* A Mont Blanc Pen
* A Nintendo Wii
* A car license
* A car
* A diving license
* Qualify for Achievers Club 2010
* Reach my ideal weight of 50kg
* Try Bungee Jumping
* Try 'The Line' buffet at Shangri La Hotel
* A Man Utd Home Jersey
* Watch a Man U match live at Old Trafford
* Go Taiwan/HK/Thailand/Korea/Japan/
/USA/Aussie/Europe
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Sunday, March 18, 2007
THE END
Yes... It's official. After 1 year 3 months and 1 day, we finally broke up today.
I guess we are really not suitable for each other. There are just too many differences - the culture, the character, the goals, the mindset, the values in life, the age gap and maybe to some extent, the communication barrier.
The ironic thing is, even though i know we are so different right from the start and i know there is no future together, i still jump into this relationship. What was i thinking? Am i hoping that i can overcome the obstacles and hopefully things will turn out to be better than i expected? Maybe i am just too naive to believe that love can conquer all obstacles. Or maybe i have not met the ONE that will make me believe in this. Another irony is that i used to be pretty confident about myself till i started this relationship. Maybe i am just too insecure. I wonder is that a good thing or a bad thing.
I guess a relationship takes two hands to clap. Love ceases to exist if one party stops loving and the other party continues to hold on. Eventually, both parties will not be happy, especially to the one who is holding on. I came across a few quotes which i read in an email some time ago. Basically, it makes some sense:
'A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go..... '
'Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.'
How true... Maybe it is a good thing that this relationship only lasted 1 year plus. It would be an even greater disaster to drag it any longer, such as ten years down the road, only to realise that we are not meant to be. A man's biological time clock ticks down more gradually, while a woman's takes a steeper drop. Afterall, i am not exactly young anymore. I am responsible for my own future and happiness. Even though it is a short-lived relationship, i did learn a lot from it.
- I believe most couples quarrel. There's no rights or wrongs in love. Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistake. The most important thing is not how serious the mistake is but whether one can learn from their mistake and promise not to do it again.
'Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person." It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.'
- Love is not an equation where a+b=c. A relationship should not be about how much one gives and how much one expects to receive the same in return. Otherwise, there will be endless comparing and expectations (who gives more or who gives less), ultimately leading to feeling of unhappiness and unfairness on either party. True love means sacrificing for the other partner, be it material wise, emotional, or just plain unconditional love.
- A relationship should be all about communications, compromise, trust, respect, spending time to understand each other and learning to appreciate the little things that the other party does for you. Most importantly, both parties should not take each other for granted.
- Being in love should be all about being happy and enjoying the companionship that comes with it. Maybe to certain extent, to love someone is to accept them the way they are and their past.
Well... i may not be exactly right. As i just said, i still have a lot to learn.
Somehow, i got mix feelings once i got the answer that i have alway been waiting for. Waiting is a torture. Guessing too much will only makes me feel worse. On one hand i was relief that it was finally over. It was an outcome which i had kind of predicted long ago. On the other hand, I wish this relationship would last a bit longer. To tell the truth, it was very hard to let go just like that. Have i ever regretted being in this relationship? I know i have never cried so much in my life before. Not even when my paternal grandma or grandpa died (probably i was too young at that time to understand the meaning of death). But even so, i have never regretted it. Afterall, there are up moments as well as down moments with him. Will i hate him? Am i angry with him for not appreciating what i did? Maybe to certain extent, yes. But i will not hate him because hating someone is equal to constantly reminding yourself that there is someone in your heart who you cannot let go. Why should i subject myself to such torture right? Do i feel hurt? Of course i do. In fact, it hurts so much deep inside, as though someone has just stabbed me in the heart. I felt so lost suddenly. It was hard to acknowledge the fact that someone so close to me for the past one year will not be there for me anymore. Afterall, i am a human, not a machine with no emotions at all. I guess it will take a while to forget him completely. Whether we will be friends or not after this i really do not know. Maybe it is best not to contact at all and just let the memories slowly fade away... At this moment, one of my favourite songs - ' 柠檬草的味道' by Jolin sums up my thoughts perfectly. If only he can understand all the lyrics...
柠檬草的味道
他们猜我们后来有没有再见 离席了才会晓得怀念
突然我记起你的脸 那触动依然像昨天
对自己我终於也诚实了一点
是不是回忆就是淡淡柠檬草
心酸里又有芳香的味道
曾以为你是全世界 但那天已经好遥远
绕一圈 我才发现我有更远地平线
我们都没错 只是不适合 我要的我现在才懂得
快乐是我的 不是你给的
寂寞要自己负责
毕竟用尽了力气也未必如愿
总是要过去以后才了解
突然我记起你的脸 爱不爱不过一念之间
绕一圈 今天的我能和昨天面对面
我们都没错只是不适合 亲爱的我当时不懂得
选择是我的不是你给的 明天自己负责
给昨天的我一个拥抱
曾经她不知如何是好
若我们再见我会微笑
谢谢你 谢谢你
我尝过爱的好
PS: To all my friends, esp Amy and Zhiyun. Thanks for always being there for me and giving me advices all the while. Without you all, i think i would have gone crazy long long ago. I will live my life properly from now on. Another thanks for making me believe that i deserve someone better. Maybe love is only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. Who knows my real prince charming will turn up unexpectedly just when i least expected it. Just wish me all the best :)
Posted by 大路痴
@ 4:52 PM
1 comments
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